17 blocks from barneys

A funny thing happened while I was watching the documentary Marc Jacobs & Louis Vuitton by Loic Prigent (which, incidentally, I highly recommend).

Just as Anna Wintour appeared on my television screen, my DVD player paused and the warning message, “Skipping Over Damaged Area” was displayed over her iconic little unchanging head. It skipped over her entire interview, resuming directly back to Marc in his design studio.

Laughter, of course, ensued. The rest of the DVD functioned perfectly.

[Image: An adorable little Anna look-a-like]

If the below is my wedding dress, the above is my rehearsal dinner outfit.

My wedding guests can eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for all I care.

I hope you are dutifully perusing the Resort 2010 collections – as fashion gets a financial slap in the face (so long Christian Lacroix!) – Resort proves that this industry can take a lickin’ but keep on churning out marvels. Re: Lacroix, apparently he’s been working for free for months and, despite bankruptcy in his back pocket, refused a bailout from one of his best couture clients. SAVE FASHION, people! Go shopping (preferably here).

[Image: Stella! McCartnery Resort 2010]

If I were to get married [insert hysterical laughter here], this would be my dress.

Don’t cry, mom.

[Image: Isaac (of course) Mizrahi Resort 2010]

Attention NYC Men! As you’re trolling through Greenwich Village in your top siders and looking for a place to eat, drink, smoke a blunt, or whatever it is anyone does in Greenwich Village: stop by the John Bartlett store and check out his new pop-up shop for Claiborne. I’ve seen the magic JB weaves and I can guarantee you this: he’ll hook you up, bro.

Every 3 to 4 years, I develop a new (and quite creepy) celebrity crush in which I actually convince myself that, should we meet, we will get married. It started with Tom Cruise – a crush so creepy I actually kept a binder of his magazine clippings. Next, I moved on to Patrick Dempsey, followed by Gerard Butler, and now – thanks to The Hangover – Bradley Cooper is set to be the new Mr. Kara King.

If you want to see cinematic perfection, go see his movie now. And if anyone talks to Bradley, let him know I’m waiting for him…he’s going to love me.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Take a seat, fashion friends. Word on the street is, in a cruel game of fashion musical chairs, Karl Lagerfeld will not renew his contract at Chanel, Alber Elbaz will move in, and Olivier Theyskens will take over Lanvin.

I haven’t finished my morning coffee yet, so please stand by while I process this information and get in touch with my feelings surrounding the matter:

9:41am – Feelings of confusion, loneliness, and just a little bit sleepy.

9:53am – I think my coffee is broken. No change since above.

11:52am – Awake now. Slightly enraged – but that could be directed at co-workers.

12:17pm – Freaking the hell out.

1:29pm – Uncontrollable sobbing.

1:49pm – Just ate my feelings with a bag of Doritos. Feeling slightly better.

4:03pm – Finally, acceptance! If you think about it (as I have – and only have – for the past 3 hours) Karl can’t quit fashion in a Brokeback Mountain sort of way, anything Alber Elbaz touches instantly turns to jewel-toned deliciousness, and Olivier Theyskens – well, he’s got that French sensibility. So fear not my fashion friends! I’m not worried about it, you shouldn’t be.

And we can sleep well tonight. Good thing because I’m pooped.

UPDATE! It’s not true! According to The Cut, Karl will be churning out tweed jacket even in his grave. Phew.

This will make you melt…Daniel Craig is popsicle form! (I told you he was yummy.)

Prince Harry, Veuve Clicquot and big hats…and I missed it. Inappropriate.

This is almost as good as “PRETEND THIS IS DIOR“…almost.

Thanks, IP (freely) for passing it along!